Random Ramblings: Respectful Parenting, Healthy Eating, & Podcasts

Today I’m checking in with a whole bunch of randomness to help clear my mind AND share more about honest and raw truth about myself, my life, and my habits with you– my awesome readers!

The forecast is finally tempting us with temps above 50 later this week, but as we’re waking up so another day where snow is falling from the sky (it’s April 10, right?!), I’m trying to keep my attitude and outlook positive today. Aaaaand I’m living in struggle city. Or after experiencing a not-so-pretty grown up temper tantrum when my toddler refused to stay still while I got her dressed this morning (she often does this as my husband so nicely reminded me), I’m living in failure city.

Clearly I’m harboring some mom guilt today. I know I’m far from a failure, but my high strung and short-tempered self is jealous of those who are a lot more patient than me. And honestly, I’m just in this funk, AGAIN. Mother nature, please stop knocking me down with your cold and snow! Hopefully this is the real, real end of winter.

Thinking about parenting and how I can avoid more mommy meltdowns when the weather can’t be my excuse anymore, I’ll share that we’re trying to practice respectful parenting using a lot of Magda Gerber’s principles. Gerber really emphasizes respect for and trust in our growing babies. The big picture of our goals mean we trust that our children are capable growing little people. We try not to yell when there are meltdowns or defiant moments, instead opting to stay calm, gently redirect while being firm, but fair. When conditions are ideal (ie. when everyone is happy and sweet) it works awesome. And when a meltdown happens and I use the tools I’ve been learning, I find I stay more calm and the hard moments end sooner and more productively. Alas, when parenting children who are trying to make sense of these huge emotions they’re feeling every day sometimes it’s hard, for everyone! This morning’s mommy eruption was not in line with my parenting goals. Grace. Being a mom keeps me seriously humble and thank goodness I know I’ll have lots more opportunities to do better.

Other things on my mind today: healthy eating. As I mentioned last week, I’ve been motivated to really get my diet back on track. I’m reducing my chocolate chip intake by handfuls (no, seriously…) and replacing my cravings for sugar with more veggies and natural sugars like fruits.

I’m currently chomping on carrot sticks and hummus.

hummus-carrots

I can’t say cutting out the junk food is easy right now (cravings are real and you don’t have to be pregnant to have them), but I’ve done this before and know it will be worth it.

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Breastfeeding can’t continue to be an excuse to keep eating junk (at least not for me) and I’d like to rely less on high rise yoga pants and flexing my muscles to mask my postpartum pouch (which of course, I’m super proud of and grateful for, but hello–I’m human and fitness focused!).

We’ve restocked the freezer and pantry at Costco and Aldi a few times in the last couple weeks and I’m excited to feel prepared to keep working at self improvement.

costco-april-2018.jpg

With two kids, my dinners have been so simple over the last six+ months and thankfully these even healthier meal options are still super easy. I know I haven’t been doing the “What I Ate Wednesday” posts anymore (because they were time consuming and not as popular), but I am still meal planning and some of the menu offering in our home over the next couple weeks will include:

  1. Salmon with Veggies
  2. Pesto Chicken and Veggies
  3. Chicken with Avocado Salad
  4. Ham, Apple, and Sweet Potato Egg Scramble
  5. Spaghetti Squash and Meatballs
  6. Sweet Potatoes Stuffed with Shredded Chicken (BBQ or Buffalo Chicken)
  7. Healthy Ramen with Asian Beef and Asparagus (this last one is an original from my kitchen! Watch for a recipe later this week)
  8. Turkey Quinoa Taco Casserole
  9. Burrito Bowls with Cauliflower Rice

If the actual meal isn’t popular, these are all dishes with at least toddler and baby-friendly ingredients (yes, Josie is eating now too–she looooves food), like avocado, sweet potato, salmon, meatballs, and loads of veggies (most of which both girls will actually eat if they’re not too tired). Sweet!

Something else I’ve been doing that makes me feel good is listening to podcasts. It’s a fun way to listen and learn while I’m driving, with the kids, or getting some work done. Some of my favorites lately have been:

  1. Well-Fed Women – I love the honest advice these two women give on health nutrition, and fitness related topics. Their podcast description says, “Expect real talk, moderately amusing banter, and empowering advice for women, from women” and I think this sums up their show great. I’ve really enjoyed episodes #162-#165 in the last few weeks.
  2. The mindbodygreen – This podcast is full of awesome info on a whole host of health related topics and all from pioneers in the health industry.
  3. Unruffled – This is a parenting podcast by Janet Lansbury, a parenting expert focused on the respectful parenting practices we’re trying to use. Listening to this podcast helps me stay mindful and focused on my efforts and reminds me I’m an imperfect human capable of trying again when I slip up.

If you’re interested in more of the ramblings from my brain these days, follow my IG account where I’ve been trying to post more regularly. Things I’m thinking about sharing in the upcoming weeks include healthier dessert options, ways you can cleanse your diet and jump start weight loss, what we’re planting in our garden this year, exercises you can do at the office, and a workout you can do on your next hike, my Costco and Aldi grocery lists, the benefits of fermented foods, and more.

Tell me, what are some topics you’d like to hear more about? Share on social media, or in the comments below! 

 

My Postpartum Journey (You’re Not Alone)

Let’s real talk for awhile. I’m going to super overshare about my postpartum journey. So if you don’t want to read about “girl problems,” just close this window now. But if you are a mom, or you have a mom, or if you know a mom I urge you to continue reading. Because I’ll bet out of all the moms you know, someone is feeling or has felt like this before. Maybe right after having a baby. Maybe a few months after. Maybe years later. But if and when they ever feel like this, I bet they would love it if you could even try to understand their experiences. Because labor and delivery isn’t where our journey to motherhood ends. Not even close. And no mom wants to feel alone (except maybe when we’re hiding in a closet to eat our favorite snack and don’t want to share).

Truth: I think the postpartum period, aka the “fourth trimester” is even tougher than being pregnant.

I am one of those lucky women who feels awesome when she’s pregnant. I exercise throughout my pregnancy. I feel strong. I gain a healthy amount of weight. I feel confident. I keep up with my regular activities (minus drinking some wine). I generally feel happy. I am grateful for this. This is probably why I was open to getting pregnant so soon after having my first daughter (hello, two babies in 15 months!).

But postpartum is a whole other story. The fourth trimester only technically lasts three months, and since my second daughter will be five months in just a couple weeks, I guess I don’t fit in this “box” anymore, but I have been in such a funk lately and I’m going to blame some of this experience at least partly on my own personal postpartum journey.

Six weeks after Josie was born I was cleared by my doctor and told I could resume my normal life. My new normal life. I was super overwhelmed by the two children I was rearing at home, but I passed the psychological questionnaire they give you (ie. I didn’t have postpartum depression), I had finally finished bleeding and my incision was healing nicely so yeah, I was told to carry on.

Having just had my first baby fifteen months before I was prepared for the gauntlet of my least favorite symptoms, or so I thought.

I was expecting my bad B.O. I smell so bad after I have kids. I sweat like crazy. On my chest and my armpits. And no, this is not because of my all natural deodorant. I literally think my body has me sweat like a maniac so my kid can smell me from a mile away. Along with every other poor soul within that mile radius. I change our sheets twice per week. It’s so gross, but I was ready for this. I have accepted this.

I also wasn’t shocked to get my period two days after my postpartum checkup. Yes, despite the fact that I’m exclusively breastfeeding, I am one of those lucky women who doesn’t get a break from Aunt Flo for six months or more. And to add insult to injury, I bleed super heavily and irregularly. So heavily that my doctors thought I was still experiencing postpartum bleeding after I had Isla. And so irregularly that I have had my period 6 times in the last 20 weeks since I welcomed our littlest beauty into this world. I was kind of ready for this too, though I forgot it sometimes interrupts my workout routine because I feel like garbage. And I am trying to accept this (okay, I’m actually just praying this bleeding gets lighter and more predictable).

Additionally, I was prepared for the loose ligaments and tender joints as the hormone relaxin works its magic in my body and keeps my body parts more relaxed as I breastfeed my baby. I was ready for the fatigue from night feedings and sleep training. I was ready to lose my hair by the handful. I was ready for the extra skin and cellulite. These symptoms are shit, but I was ready for them.

Yet, there is one major symptom I’ve been feeling lately that I was NOT expecting. This postpartum period I feel sad. And in this one major way, my postpartum journey has been so different than last year’s and the depth of this new unknown territory can sometimes be hard to navigate.

While I find motherhood so fulfilling and beautiful, while I laugh with joy with my daughters, while I don’t have trouble getting out of bed in the morning or doing work during the day, and while I’m not sad every day or every moment, I’m still sad!

Reflecting on this emotion, I don’t think it’s all due to my having a baby or two in the last couple years because let’s face it–this has felt like the longest winter in years–but do I do think it has something to do with my hormones and the crazy ride my body has churned through like a champ? Hell yes! And for that reason, I think it’s worth acknowledging. Because I know from talking to my mom tribe, I’m not alone. Many of us are experiencing all of this, and more, and if you feel like this YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Like with many other things in mamahood, we maybe can’t be ready to feel all of these feels, but I’m learning there are other ways we can be ready to cope. Because this emotion can be totally normal too, and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, or that you’re doing something wrong, or that you love your kids any less than the bubbly, happy mom at playgroups. Or that you can’t be that bubbly mom, and still be sad sometimes too (that’s totally me).

First and foremost, if you’re worried and think your feelings are debilitating or you’re considering harming yourself or your children, you should talk to your doctor. But if you find that you’re feeling more of this “funk,” that I’m referring to, there are some natural ways you can cope and help yourself too and slowly, I’m finding these things are helping me feel better and so I have to share.

One huge way you can help yourself is with self care. Yes, I know motherhood is overwhelming. I know you have babies and a significant other, and maybe pets and other family and friends you’re taking care of. But if you’re forgetting the most important person you should be taking care of–YOU–take a look in the mirror and reflect on how you might help yourself too.

My brother once told me I’m the biggest advocate for self care he knows and this is a compliment I cherish. It’s something I remember when I am feeling sad and need some self care myself. It’s the reason I’m trying so hard to keep digging deep for the happiness that normally comes so naturally to me. Sometimes taking care of ourselves is what we need to feel a little better. And after I took some time this morning for a solo run (something that makes me feel better), I knew I had to share these intimate details about my postpartum feels.

run

Some of the best ways to care for you might be meditation. Or exercise. An appointment with your favorite manicurist or at the spa. Or maybe it’s a nap or a cup of coffee out somewhere by yourself while your spouse or a babysitter takes care of the kids. Maybe it’s a date night. A girl’s night. Maybe it’s all of these things!

But whatever it is, DO IT. Because if making room to take care of me is making me feel a little better, it can make you feel better too. And I’m hoping sharing way too much of this intimate info might help someone else feel a little better too. Though who else is hoping the arrival of permanent springtime will help too? 🙂